Promoting Mindful Communication,
Growth through Conflict
"Conflict is the beginning of consciousness"
- Mary Esther Harding
Hi, I'm Alan Sharland
My work, for the past 20 years, as a Mediator, Conflict Coach and Trainer in Conflict Management skills, has been to assist people in dispute.
The observations, insights and Principles given on this website have been taught to me by the many brave, but determined people who wanted to create ways of resolving their conflicts effectively.
"In my opinion there are few people in this country who are as skilled both as a practitioner and leading advocate of Conflict Management and Conflict Resolution as Alan Sharland. He has an excellent reputation in the field." - Marina Cantacuzino - Founder/Director of The Forgiveness Project.
Are you involved in a destructive conflict?
Have you had:
Has the problem become entrenched over a number of weeks, months or even years?
Does it tire you out?
Do you want some support?
This website provides answers to these questions and many others relating to Communication and Conflict....
Here's a quick overview of the site...
Ok, the main features that you will find on the site are:
This website also helps you to......
|Why 'Communication and Conflict'? further information on the thinking behind this site.|
These are just some of the insights and challenges that you will find in the pages of this website.
Are you a Conflict Resolution Practitioner looking for resources and further understanding of your field of work?
Would you like to know....
Conflict Coaching via Skype or FaceTime or Google Hangout
Check out the Communication and Conflict Video Lounge
Some more on Effective Communication and Conflict Resolution....
The practices of effective interpersonal communication and effective conflict resolution are more about self-awareness than about techniques or 'strategies' for changing or 'dealing with' others.
And that's great news. Because it's impossible to change others, but the possibilities for changing ourselves are infinite. And we each have the power to do so.
Seeking to control or change others in a conflict is conflict suppression and conflict avoidance. It doesn't work.
Seeking to control or change ourselves in a conflict situation leads to conflict resolution. It does work.
Effective support for conflict resolution empowers people to find ways of controlling or changing themselves.
Ok, as you can see there are a lot of resources on the site. If you haven't already done so via some of the earlier links then take the first step and......
Click here to start your journey towards more Effective Communication and Conflict Resolution.
Donate to this site:
If you feel this website has been of use to you, please make a donation via the button below.
Just the cost of a cup of coffee helps to keep this mainly ad-free site running.
THANK YOU! For any contribution you make:
Train to be a Mediator in London UK with CAOS Conflict Management:
There's also a FREE COPY of the e-booklet Listening, Summarising and Questioning - The Simple, Effective Skills of Conflict Resolution with every purchase of The Guide.
Some recent feedback on The Guide:
Dear Alan - I recently purchased The Guide which I think is excellent and highly useful in a personal and professional context. I am a teacher with the Skills Institute in Tasmania and I'm about to roll out communication training in Tasmania's only youth detention facility. I have an enormous amount of material regarding communication but none as succinct or as user-friendly as what you have developed.
Teacher-Human Services Skills Institute - Tasmania
I work at a homeless shelter/rehab and I teach a class on community living. This is a new field of employment for me. I can use this site for ideas for the class I teach.
This is going to be very interesting and educational for myself as well as others.
This site is a big help. Thank you!
TM, Kentucky, USA
Alan Sharland, author of the Communication and Conflict website is Director of CAOS Conflict Management, where he has a blog called CAOTICA, please visit by clicking this banner and if you like what you see please subscribe to CAOTICA.
Working with 'Bullying'? - This may interest you….
Hello Alan Sharland
Thank you SO MUCH for this article! It brings forward some very key points about the phenomenon of "bullying" which I have been pondering for some while. Among others, asking to what extent can/should the person on the receiving end of the bullying/perceived to be bullying take responsibility/initiate steps to shift the paradigm? How can this happen without implying that the recipient is somehow responsible for the bullying behavior?
Laurie McCann, Campus Ombuds, Univ Calif Santa Cruz
You have put together an awesome web site with lots of fantastic materials.
John Ford - Managing Editor Mediate.com
Hi Alan, ..... your site is great. I've been reading all the material and have to say its already made a difference in how I sort out/manage some of life's little problems. JH - West London, UK
This article is the BEST article on questioning I have ever read and I'd like, with your permission, to pass it along to our mediators.Your examples of both genuinely open and 'not-so-open' with explanations are very insightful.
ML - Canadian Govt. Agency
I have just spent hours on your site as I truly love the eclectic mix of reference material that you kindly share. From Gibran to Byron Katie and the fab youtube clips! I am making my free hugs poster as of now :-)
Anni with joyful smile :-)