Welcome to the Communication and Conflict website!
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"Hi Alan, ..... your site is great. I've been reading all the material and have to say its already made a difference in how I sort out/manage some of life's little problems."
JH - West London, UK
"This article is the BEST article on questioning I have ever read and I'd like, with your permission, to pass it along to our mediators.Your examples of both genuinely open and 'not-so-open' with explanations are very insightful."
ML - Canadian Govt. Agency
Click here to see more comments.
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Promoting Mindful Communication Growth through Conflict
Conflict is the beginning of consciousness - M.Esther Harding
Hi, I'm Alan Sharland
My work, for the past 14 years as a Mediator and Trainer in Conflict Management skills, has been to assist people in dispute.
The observations, insights and Principles given on this website have been taught to me by the many brave, but determined people who wanted to create ways of resolving their conflicts effectively.
Are you involved in a destructive conflict?
Have you had:
- a tiff with your partner?
- a ruck with your boss?
- a sulk from your teenager?
- a riot in your meeting?
- gang warfare on your estate?
- some other kind of 'falling out' with someone?
Has the problem become entrenched over a number of weeks, months or even years?
Does it tire you out?
Do you want some support?
- Do you repeatedly find yourself in the same kind of conflict situation with the same person or even with many different people?
- Do you work in one of the Helping Professions and wonder why you feel so overwhelmed by the demands of your clients?
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Alan,
I work at a homeless shelter/rehab and I teach a class on community living.
This is a new field of employment for me. I can use this site for ideas for the class I teach.
This is going to be very interesting and educational for myself as well as others.
This site is a big help. Thank you!
TM, Kentucky, USA
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- Or are you struggling with a destructive conflict situation in the workplace?
- Do you want to find out how effective communication can resolve a destructive conflict?
- Do you want resources and approaches you can use to teach yourself and others how to resolve conflict effectively?
- Are you looking for training in effective communication and conflict resolution related skills?
Click on the links to find out more and to get support for your situation.
Get The Guide to the Principles of Effective Communication and Conflict Resolution ebook - Click here for further details and to download a sample chapter.
Learn about and use the exercises in The Guide to PRACTICE the Principles of Effective Communication and Conflict Resolution described on this site.
"I can honestly say I think it's brilliant.... I have a feeling the points you have made will help a lot of people, including myself."
- Rob Deeks, Conflict Resolution Practitioner, working with young people to promote racial harmony - see www.aiksaath.com - talking about The Guide |
Are you a Conflict Resolution Practitioner looking for resources and further understanding of your field of work?
Would you like to know....
| "Hi Alan...
I have just spent hours on your site as I truly love the eclectic mix of
reference material that you kindly share. From Gibran to Byron Katie and the fab youtube clips! I am making my free hugs poster as of now :-)"
Anni with joyful smile :-)
Preston, UK |
What are the Underlying Philosophies of Mediation that underpin the insights and ideas discussed in this website?
What is meant by a 'No-blame approach' or 'No-blame culture'?
What is the Rescuer Syndrome and why is it a destructive response to conflict?
Why is empowerment such an important aspect of effective conflict resolution? What is empowerment in this context?
What are the main skills used in supporting someone in the resolution of their destructive conflict?
This website provides answers to these questions and many others relating to Communication and Conflict.
It also helps you to......
- Become more aware of your day to day use of language, such as labelling and 'I' statements, and how it affects your relationships with others.
- Develop skills that improve the effectiveness of your communication and your capacity to resolve conflict.
- Learn to approach communication and conflict as a continuous opportunity for personal growth.
- Understand how many common stereotypes about non-verbal behaviour, often called 'body language interpretation' hinder effective communication.
- Lose your 'fear of conflict' through developing an understanding of the Principles of Effective Communication.
- Learn to empower yourself in any conflict situation through losing your dependence on others to 'change'.
These are just some of the insights and challenges that you will find in the pages of this website.
Want a quick overview of the site?
Ok, the main features that you will find on the site are:
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9 Principles of Effective Communication which also support effective Conflict Resolution (you can even purchase a Guide that helps you to practice these).
- 6 Underlying Philosophies of Mediation - if you are a mediator or just interested in what mediation is 'about', these will explain the thinking behind my mediation practice.
- 3 different ways in which people tend to respond to conflict. Two of them never lead to a resolution of conflict. One of them helps us to resolve it and grow and learn from conflict.
- 3 Communication Skills that help us to be effective communicators, and help us to help others resolve their conflicts when requested. You can also buy an e-booklet that puts all the information about these skills together for easy reference.
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For a detailed list of the content of the site, check out the Site Map.
Skype Consultation
You can also arrange a Consultation via Skype if you would like One-to-One support with:
- How to handle a conflict situation constructively
- Communication difficulties you are experiencing
- Mentoring for your conflict resolution practice if you are a Mediator
Would you like to Sit Back and Watch an Inspirational Video!
Check out the Communication and Conflict Video Lounge
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Some more on Effective Communication and Conflict Resolution....
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The practices of effective communication and effective conflict resolution are more about self-awareness than about techniques or 'strategies' for changing or 'dealing with' others.
And that's great news. Because it's impossible to change others, but the possibilities for changing ourselves are infinite. And we each have the power to do so.
Seeking to control or change others in a conflict is conflict suppression and conflict avoidance. It doesn't work.
Seeking to control or change ourselves in a conflict situation leads to conflict resolution. It does work.
Effective support for conflict resolution empowers people to find ways of controlling or changing themselves.
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Get The Guide to the Principles of Effective Communication and Conflict Resolution ebook - Click here for further details and to download a sample chapter.
Learn about and use the exercises in The Guide to PRACTICE the Principles of Effective Communication and Conflict Resolution described on this site.
"I can honestly say I think it's brilliant.... I have a feeling the points you have made will help a lot of people, including myself."
- Rob Deeks, Conflict Resolution Practitioner, working with young people to promote racial harmony - see www.aiksaath.com - talking about The Guide |
Ok, as you can see there are a lot of resources on the site. If you haven't already done so via some of the earlier links then take the first step and......
Click here to start your journey towards more Effective Communication and Conflict Resolution.
Or if you'd rather take a more direct route to a particular destination, search the site here.....
Find out how I came to build this website.....

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