The practices of effective communication and effective conflict resolution are more about self-awareness than about techniques or 'strategies' for changing or 'dealing with' others. And that's great news. Because it's impossible to change others, but the possibilities for changing ourselves are infinite. And we each have the power to do so. Seeking to control or change others in a conflict is conflict suppression and conflict avoidance. It doesn't work. Seeking to control or change ourselves in a conflict situation leads to conflict resolution. It does work. Effective support for conflict resolution empowers people to find ways of controlling or changing themselves.

Hi, I'm Alan Sharland

My work, for the past 14 years as a Mediator and Trainer in Conflict Management skills, has been to assist people in dispute.

The observations, insights and Principles given on this website have been taught to me by the many brave, but determined people who wanted to create ways of resolving their conflicts effectively.

Effective resolution of conflict means:

Looking for Training? These are the latest workshops: Learning from difficult relationships and Effective Communication Skills and Learning to Grow through Conflict Note: clicking takes you to a different website on a new page

• Acknowledging our own capacity to resolve our disputes and conflict situations with others through considered or 'mindful' communication
• Taking responsibility for our responses to conflict whether constructive or destructive in their effect
• Not depending on others to suppress our conflicts for us
• Not seeking to suppress others' conflicts for them
• Losing our dependence on others to change but instead to look inward to reflect on and reconsider our own perspective and response to our difficulty.

Why Communication and Conflict? ....and how to make use of this site.

• Losing our sense of helplessness and victimhood
• Finding the power and creativity that mindful communication provides to enable us to successfully connect with others

Want a quick overview of the site?

Ok, the main features that you will find on the site are:

• 9 Principles of Effective Communication which also support effective Conflict Resolution (you can even purchase a Guide that helps you to practice these).

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• 6 Underlying Philosophies of Mediation - if you are a mediator or just interested in what mediation is 'about', these will explain the thinking behind my mediation practice.
• 3 different ways in which people tend to respond to conflict. Two of them never lead to a resolution of conflict. One of them helps us to resolve it and grow and learn from conflict.
• 3 Communication Skills that help us to be effective communicators, and help us to help others resolve their conflicts when requested.

Get The Guide to the Principles of Effective Communication and Conflict Resolution ebook - Click here for further details and to download a sample chapter. "I can honestly say I think it's brilliant.... I have a feeling the points you have made will help a lot of people, including myself." - Rob Deeks, Conflict Resolution Practitioner, working with young people to promote racial harmony - see www.aiksaath.com - talking about The Guide

Or would you like to check out some inspirational videos in the Video Lounge?

Have you had:

• a tiff with your partner?
• a ruck with your boss?
• a sulk from your teenager?
• a riot in your meeting?
• gang warfare on your estate?
• some other kind of 'falling out' with someone?

Has the problem become entrenched over a number of weeks, months or even years? Does it tire you out?

• Do you repeatedly find yourself in the same kind of conflict situation with the same person or even with many different people?
• Do you work in one of the Helping Professions and wonder why you feel so overwhelmed by the demands of your clients?

Hi Alan, ..... your site is great. I've been reading all the material and have to say its already made a difference in how I sort out/manage some of life's little problems. JH - West London, UK Click here to see more comments.

• Or are you struggling with a destructive conflict situation in the workplace?
• Do you want to find out how effective communication can resolve a destructive conflict?
• Do you want resources and approaches you can use to teach yourself and others how to resolve conflict effectively?
• Do you want training in effective communication and conflict resolution related skills?
• What are the Underlying Philosophies of Mediation that underpin the insights and ideas discussed in this website?
• What is meant by a 'No-blame approach' or 'No-blame culture'?
• What is the Rescuer Syndrome and why is it a destructive response to conflict?
• Why is empowerment such an important aspect of effective conflict resolution? What is empowerment in this context?

This website provides answers to these questions and many others relating to Communication and Conflict.

It also helps you to......

• Become more aware of your day to day use of language, such as labelling and 'I' statements, and how it affects your relationships with others.
• Develop skills that improve the effectiveness of your communication and your capacity to resolve conflict.
• Learn to approach communication and conflict as a continuous opportunity for personal growth.
• Understand how many common stereotypes about non-verbal behaviour, often called 'body language interpretation' hinder effective communication.
• Lose your 'fear of conflict' through developing an understanding of the Principles of Effective Communication.
• Learn to empower yourself in any conflict situation through losing your dependence on others to 'change'.

These are just some of the insights and challenges that you will find in the pages of this website.

Click here to start your journey towards more Effective Communication and Conflict Resolution.

Or if you'd rather take a more direct route to a particular destination, search the site here.....

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