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Promoting Mindful Communication,
Growth through Conflict
"Conflict is the beginning of consciousness"
- Mary Esther Harding
Hi, I'm Alan Sharland
My work, for the past 20 years, as a Mediator, Conflict Coach and Trainer in Conflict Management skills, has been to assist people in dispute.
The observations, insights and Principles given on this website have been taught to me by the many brave, but determined people who wanted to create ways of resolving their conflicts effectively.
"In my opinion there are few people in this country who are as skilled both as a practitioner and leading advocate of Conflict Management and Conflict Resolution as Alan Sharland. He has an excellent reputation in the field." - Marina Cantacuzino - Founder/Director of The Forgiveness Project.
Are you involved in a destructive conflict?
Have you had:
Has the problem become entrenched over a number of weeks, months or even years?
Does it tire you out?
Do you want some support?
This website provides answers to these questions and many others relating to Communication and Conflict....
Here's a quick overview of the site...
Ok, the main features that you will find on the site are:
This website also helps you to......
|Why 'Communication and Conflict'? further information on the thinking behind this site.|
These are just some of the insights and challenges that you will find in the pages of this website.
Are you a Conflict Resolution Practitioner looking for resources and further understanding of your field of work?
Would you like to know....
Conflict Coaching via Skype or FaceTime or Google Hangout
Would you like to sit back and watch some videos relating to communication and conflict and human relationships?
If so visit our Video Lounge for videos that promote mindful communication, growth through conflict
The practices of effective interpersonal communication and effective conflict resolution are more about self-awareness than about techniques or 'strategies' for changing or 'dealing with' others.
And that's great news. Because it's impossible to change others, but the possibilities for changing ourselves are infinite. And we each have the power to do so.
Seeking to control or change others in a conflict is conflict suppression and conflict avoidance. It doesn't work.
Seeking to control or change ourselves in a conflict situation leads to conflict resolution. It does work.
Effective support for conflict resolution empowers people to find ways of controlling or changing themselves.
Ok, as you can see there are a lot of resources on the site. If you haven't already done so via some of the earlier links then take the first step and......
Click here to start your journey towards more Effective Communication and Conflict Resolution.
Are you UK-based and looking for mediation, conflict coaching or training in communication and/or conflict resolution related issues?
If so, please contact Alan via his organisation website at CAOS Conflict Management
Train to be a Mediator in London UK with CAOS Conflict Management:
Are you experiencing difficulties communicating with someone? Perhaps at work with your boss, or your colleagues, or at home with your partner, children or other family members? Is there an unresolved conflict that you are struggling with? The following book can help you with that.......
A Guide to Effective Communication for Conflict Resolution introduces the 9 Principles that are also described on this site to help the reader develop a 'mindfulness' in relation to their communication in a way that supports the resolution of conflict. In this book
Alan shares his observations and learnings from working as a Mediator and Conflict Coach with regard to the ways that people become stuck in unresolved conflict but also how they go on to create more effective ways forward in their difficult situations.
"I think you put together so well all the essential components of
conflict transformation in a way which people can relate to and
understand. A brilliant book and I will recommend it to everyone." Jo Berry www.buildingbridgesforpeace.org
I work at a homeless shelter/rehab and I teach a class on community living. This is a new field of employment for me. I can use this site for ideas for the class I teach.
This is going to be very interesting and educational for myself as well as others.
This site is a big help. Thank you!
TM, Kentucky, USA
Working with 'Bullying'? - This may interest you….
Hello Alan Sharland
Thank you SO MUCH for this article! It brings forward some very key points about the phenomenon of "bullying" which I have been pondering for some while. Among others, asking to what extent can/should the person on the receiving end of the bullying/perceived to be bullying take responsibility/initiate steps to shift the paradigm? How can this happen without implying that the recipient is somehow responsible for the bullying behavior?
Laurie McCann, Campus Ombuds, Univ Calif Santa Cruz
You have put together an awesome web site with lots of fantastic materials.
John Ford - Managing Editor Mediate.com
Hi Alan, ..... your site is great. I've been reading all the material and have to say its already made a difference in how I sort out/manage some of life's little problems. JH - West London, UK
This article is the BEST article on questioning I have ever read and I'd like, with your permission, to pass it along to our mediators.Your examples of both genuinely open and 'not-so-open' with explanations are very insightful.
ML - Canadian Govt. Agency
I have just spent hours on your site as I truly love the eclectic mix of reference material that you kindly share. From Gibran to Byron Katie and the fab youtube clips! I am making my free hugs poster as of now :-)
Anni with joyful smile :-)