CAOS Effective Communication for Conflict Resolution

A Guide to Effective Communication for Conflict Resolution introduces the 9 Principles that are also described on this site to help the reader develop a 'mindfulness' in relation to their communication in a way that supports the resolution of conflict. In this book 

Alan shares his observations and learnings from working as a Mediator and Conflict Coach with regard to the ways that people become stuck in unresolved conflict but also how they go on to create more effective ways forward in their difficult situations. 

"I think you put together so well all the essential components of
conflict transformation in a way which people can relate to and
understand. A brilliant book and I will recommend it to everyone."  

Jo Berry  -

I feel our current president is incompitent to hold office.

by Sean Nyman

Although, I feel he deserves an opportunity as America is the land of opportunity.

Comments for I feel our current president is incompitent to hold office.

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Feb 20, 2018
My Two Cents
by: Pepe Grigorio


In my experience, I've found that if I'm going to claim that someone else is "incompitent", my argument holds more weight if I spell "incompetent" correctly.

God Bless,
Pepe Grigorio

Jan 30, 2017
Thank you Sean
by: Alan

Hi Sean

Thanks for your comment. In being an 'I-statement' it's clear that you are open to other interpretations as then shown by your follow up statement in the message. If you were to state it as a 'fact' - 'Our president is incompetent' then of course you would be subject to objections by many others who disagree and then arguments would be likely to ensue over 'proof' for / against the statement.....and very little progress would ensue other than further polarisation between people. In stating it as you have it allows for a discussion of your reasons why you feel that way and hopefully a listening to others reasons for feeling differently.
"The aim of an argument or discussion should not be victory but progress" - Joseph Joubert
'Fact statements' that can't be proved as 'facts' lead to attempts at victory. I-statements allow for progress because it is not then a battle to be proven right or wrong, but an open discussion of different viewpoints where all can be acknowledged. Thanks again for your comment.

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Are you UK-based and  looking for mediation, conflict coaching or training in communication and/or conflict resolution related issues?

If so, please contact Alan via his organisation website at CAOS Conflict Management