Communication and Conflict Newsletter

Promoting mindful communication, growth through conflict

THANK YOU FOR VISITING - THE COMMUNICATION AND CONFLICT NEWSLETTER HAS NOW BECOME CAOTICA BLOG - please click on the banner below to find out more or simply register in the email sign up form below. This has happened in December 2012 to bring together Alan's own website newsletter from Communication and Conflict and updates from his work at CAOS Conflict Management into one blog, CAOTICA, with its own Newsletter. Please visit CAOTICA by clicking on the banner below to find out more. If you like it you can sign up for the Newsletter below or on the blog itself.

CAOTICA the CAOS Conflict Management Blog

When we are involved in unresolved conflict, it can seriously, negatively affect our health and happiness!

Often this leads to a 'fear of conflict', meaning we then either try to avoid it (impossible) or we think we have to 'win' it (also impossible). Seeing it this way leads to a feeling of being stuck, like there's no way out, like banging our heads against a brick wall.

But 'Fight or flight' are not the only response options when it comes to conflict.

When we believe they are, we create a vicious circle of responses that always deny us the opportunity to learn from our experience of conflict.

The CAOTICA blog discusses and promotes a more constructive and self-supporting approach to dealing with such situations.

Subscribe to the FREE CAOTICA blog Newsletter and receive updates with:

  • Useful information and resources
  • Observations from the practice of conflict resolution
  • Conflict resolution tips and insights to help you feel more confident when faced with unresolved conflict

The Newsletter content is often challenging, sometimes a little controversial as it doesn't follow some of the 'standard' tips and ideas for responding to conflict that you will find in books and on the internet.

It is based on day to day experience and insights drawn from the practice of mediation, which supports people who have become embroiled in conflict that has not been resolved.

These insights are gained from real, everyday difficulties.

About the Author...

Hi, I'm Alan Sharland,

I have worked in mediation for 14 years as a Mediator, Trainer of Mediators and as a Conflict Management and Communication Skills Consultant.

I have mediated in:

  • Neighbour disputes
  • National Health Service Complaints
  • Disability Discrimination disputes
  • Workplace disputes
  • Special Educational Needs Disagreements
  • Group disputes

The insights, observations and recommendations in the Newsletter and on the Communication and Conflict website and CAOTICA blog are drawn from my own experience and daily observations of:

  • How I have seen people respond to conflict,
  • How I have seen people communicate

.....................................and how the two seem to be related.

I will very rarely quote theory at you or become 'academic'. The information, tips and insights in the Newsletter, and on the website as a whole, just deal with what 'works'......and what doesn't.

And why we sometimes find it difficult to do what works.

And how we can learn to overcome that difficulty.

The Communication and Conflict Newsletter archive include:

Click Here to look through all the Newsletter back-issues.

Each Newsletter contains recommendations for organisations, individuals and other resources that can support you in:

  • Communicating more effectively,
  • Resolving conflict in your life
  • Assisting others to resolve the conflicts in their lives

The CAOTICA blog Newsletter offers insights from the practice of mediation.

When communication breaks down and conflicts are responded to destructively, mediation promotes the return to a more constructive and creative response.

Thank you for your interest. I hope you decide to subscribe to this free newsletter.

I hope you will find the CAOTICA blog Newsletter useful and supportive in developing your own communication skills and your ability to respond to conflict constructively and as an opportunity for learning, connection and insight.

You will learn that difficulties with

  • your partner,
  • your parents,
  • your work colleagues,
  • your neighbours
.... and others, can all be reduced, or even eliminated, through greater awareness of how you approach communication and conflict in your life.

Alan Sharland

Go to the Communication and Conflict website


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Join our new 

ONLINE Introduction to Conflict Coaching Skills 

(6 x 2 hour sessions on Zoom)

Learn about the CAOS Model of Conflict Coaching, the first to be developed in the UK in 2008 and one that does not have to be connected to ongoing mediation but can be simply a 'stand alone' support service for individuals. 

Open to non-UK attendees - visit the link above for more details and to register your interest.

Putting Effective Communication and Conflict Resolution into practice:

If you like the approach described on this site that supports the resolution of conflict and promotes effective, mindful communication, you may want to visit Alan's organisation website at CAOS Conflict Management.

Click on the image link below to visit his site. A new page opens.

Click here to visit the CAOS website

CAOS Conflict Management provides:

Please CONTACT CAOS if you have an enquiry about any of these services or


020 3371 7507

Here's a Handbook to help you practise more effective communication and to review and improve how you are responding to unresolved conflict:

CAOS Conflict Coaching Clients handbook

The CAOS Conflict Coaching Clients Handbook

Buy Now for just £4! or click on the image to find out more.

Buy Now

Train to be a Mediator with CAOS Conflict Management: