CAOS Effective Communication for Conflict Resolution

A Guide to Effective Communication for Conflict Resolution introduces the 9 Principles that are also described on this site to help the reader develop a 'mindfulness' in relation to their communication in a way that supports the resolution of conflict. In this book 

Alan shares his observations and learnings from working as a Mediator and Conflict Coach with regard to the ways that people become stuck in unresolved conflict but also how they go on to create more effective ways forward in their difficult situations. 

"I think you put together so well all the essential components of
conflict transformation in a way which people can relate to and
understand. A brilliant book and I will recommend it to everyone."  

Jo Berry  -

Write a suitable "I" Statement

by Sue Bee

You are in the middle of serving a customer in a book shop and another customer comes up and demands that you help her get a book down from a high shelf.

You are working as a librarian and a lady is standing in front of you looking extremely confused.

For each of the following situations write a suitable "I" statement. Examples please!

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Jun 13, 2018
Short and Simple....
by: Alan

Hi Sue, this looks like an essay or homework assignment? :-) Ah well, it's still about I-statements.

These aren't the only possible I-statements that could be used in your two scenarios but they could easily apply:

Book shop:

Hi there, once I've finished with this customer I'd be happy to come over and help you get the book down.

Library: Can I help you?

Both of these might seem very simple, but I think that's the point of most I-statements, they are a simple way of expressing ourselves that don't bring in our assumptions about others. In either situation a comment could have been made about the other person such as 'can you please be more patient' or 'you look confused' respectively, but they are unnecessary for the purpose of the situation and would both risk some kind of reaction from the person because of the assumptions being made about them.

Hope that helps but please reply to this if you have more questions.


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Are you UK-based and  looking for mediation, conflict coaching or training in communication and/or conflict resolution related issues?

If so, please contact Alan via his organisation website at CAOS Conflict Management